Blue Light Syndrome

The ache was just a dull thing,

a murmur in the spine.

But 2 AM, the mind will swing,

and tap a key, a line.

Search bar blinked, a blank white space,

then 'lower back' I typed.

A click, a scroll, at such a pace,

and suddenly my breath was piped.

Through narrowed throat, as words appeared,

each symptom, stark and grave.

A list of things I truly feared,

and not the simple ache I gave

it credit for.

The screen glowed blue, a harsh light

against the dark pane of the glass.

My own reflection, pale and white,

reading about a deadly mass.

I shut it down.

But the name, unpronounceable,

it settled in my head.

A silent, slow, unbearable

thought, though nothing had been said

aloud.