REGRET

by Alexander Search · 29-5-1907
Published 29/05/1907

I would that I were again a child

      And a child you sweet and pure,

That we might be free and wild

      In our consciousness obscure;

That we might play fantastic games

      Under trees silent and shady,

That we might have fairy-book names,

      I be a lord, you a lady.


And all were a strong ignorance

      And a healthy want of thought,

And many a [prank?], many a dance

      Our unresting feet had wrought;

And I would act well a clown's part

      To your childish laughter winning,

And I would call you my sweetheart

      And the name would have no meaning.


Or sitting close we each other would move

      With tales that now gone are sad;

We would have no sex, would feel no love,

      Good without fighting the bad.

And a flower would be our life's delight

      And a nutshell boat our treasure:

We would lock it in a cupboard at night

      As in memory a pleasure.


We would spend hours and days like a wealth

      Of goodness too great to cloy,

We would deep enjoy innocence and health

      Knowing not we did enjoy...

Ah, what bitterest is is that-alone

      Now one feeling in me I trace -

That knowledge of what from us hath gone

      And of what it left in its place.

#alexander search #fernando pessoa #lost innocence #memory #nostalgia #regret

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