The Open Hand, Or, Now What?

It took me days,

to find the words,

to twist them right,

to not sound absurd.

My throat was tight,

my palms went slick,

just to ask, that one

small, desperate trick.

And then the 'yes.'

So fast, so plain.

No pause, no sigh,

no hint of pain.

Just 'yes, I can do that,'

a simple sound.

And all my careful plans

just fell to ground.

I waited for the catch,

the hidden fee.

The 'but,' the 'if,'

the cost to me.

But nothing came.

Just silence then,

a quiet space

I couldn't fill again.

What do you do

when the door's unlocked?

And all your careful reasons

have been mocked?

I don't know how to move.

My feet are stuck.

It feels like a mistake,

some kind of luck

I don't deserve.

My hands are cold.

To just receive?

This story's old,

but new to me.

And I just stand here,

at the threshold,

terrified.