Same Brand Every Year

She left a Post-it on my desk:

your calendar is so retro lol

and I didn't say anything,

just folded the note in half

and put it in my coat pocket

which is what I do

with most things.

Same brand since 1998.

The squares are the right size.

I write in blue but sometimes black

if the blue is somewhere else,

and next Thursday has a dentist appointment

crossed out and written again below it —

the first try in blue,

the second in black,

like the hand couldn't land the first time.

I don't know why I keep doing this.

I know what stopping would mean:

the phone on the desk knowing everything,

the calendar app with its clean white grid,

no record of the Wednesday I spelled someone's name wrong

and just left it,

because it was right

in some other sense

I couldn't explain then either.

The Post-it is still in my coat.

I keep meaning to throw it out.