The photo is not me

The photo is not me

and also completely me—

fluorescent light draining my face

to something that could pass

as official, as real,

as proof that I exist in a format

the government understands.

My expression is neutral.

I am never neutral.

In life I'm all brow and mouth,

always leaning into or away from something.

In this photo I'm a document,

a data point, a face that travels

but doesn't arrive anywhere

except the border.

I look like someone who has given up

explaining themselves,

who has decided that whatever

they're about to say doesn't matter.

This is the face I'll present

to the world for the next ten years.

The face I'll show to customs officials

and anyone who needs proof that I'm

the person I'm claiming to be.

The face that's not me

is the most official thing I own.