The Reaching

by Lila Shaw · 13/02/2026
Published 13/02/2026 17:31

My mother's hand

doesn't reach.


She stands in the kitchen,

reaches for a can

on the top shelf,

the shelf where I've always reached,

where I've always been

the tall one,

the one who doesn't have to ask,

the one who just

gets it.


But her arm stops short.

Her fingertips hover

below the edge.

The gap

between what she needs

and what she can grasp

is suddenly

the most important distance

in the room.


I reach past her.

My hand doesn't even

strain.


When did this happen?

When did she become

this small?


Not smaller physically.

But smaller in the way

that matters,

smaller in the way

that means she can't

do the thing

she's always done,

can't access

the space

she thought

was hers to access.


My father's chair

looks too big for him now.

His voice

is quieter.

The house

that always felt

like it belonged to them

now feels like it belongs

to me,

and I'm not ready

for this shift,

for this reversal,

for the moment

when I become

the one

who reaches,

the one

who provides,

the one

who holds

the things

they can't

reach anymore.


I give her the can.

She takes it.

We don't say anything

about the gap,

about what just happened,

about the fact

that everything

is backwards now

and we're all

pretending

we don't notice.

#aging parents #caregiving #family responsibility #loss of independence #role reversal

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