Stranded

It won't start this morning.

The battery light has been on for a week.

I kept ignoring it,

kept driving like it wasn't there,

like if I didn't look at the dashboard

it wouldn't mean anything.

But this morning the car just died.

Dead weight in the driveway.

The key doesn't work.

The buttons don't work.

Nothing works.

I called the mechanic.

He said it's not just the battery.

The engine has something bigger wrong.

He used words I didn't understand.

He said it would cost more than I have.

So now the car sits there.

And I sit in the house

and look at it through the window,

and I think about how this is the kind of thing

that ruins a month,

that ruins a year,

that ruins the careful balance

of everything I'm barely holding together.

I have the keys in my hand.

I keep turning them over,

like maybe this time

they'll work.