The Account I Let Stay Open

I wrote two paragraphs about her work ethic,

her follow-through,

the way she handled pressure.

All of it true.

The lie is older.

She thanked me once for covering for her

in a situation I had nothing to do with,

and I said something like

don't worry about it

and let it land.

I don't know why.

Maybe I liked being the kind of person

who had done that.

Years went by.

The account just sat there,

drawing on goodwill

I hadn't deposited.

I hit send at 3:47 on a Tuesday

and then I kept the sent folder open

longer than I needed,

reading the timestamp

like a receipt for a charge I don't remember making.

The cursor blinked in a window

I had already closed.

Nothing balanced.

I closed the laptop and went to the kitchen

and the apartment was still dark

and I'd sent the email.