She texted the video at 1114

She texted the video at 11:14.

'you were so on tonight'

I watched it in bed with the lamp off.

The face was mine, approximately—

the laugh arrived a beat early,

before the punchline fully landed,

anticipating. And the hand.

My hand, touching someone's arm

the way you touch the arm of a person

you want to believe you know—

easy, a little too easy,

like a gesture I'd rehearsed

in some other life and kept.

I turned the sound off.

Watched it again.

The mouth moved. The eyes were doing

something separate from the mouth.

My friend thought I was on.

Maybe I was. Maybe that's

what on means—the gap

so practiced it looks like presence.

I put the phone face-down.

The ceiling was dark.

I lay there being

whoever I am when no one's recording,

which I'm still working out.