I had the tone ready

I had the tone ready.

The one that says: I know, I'm sorry,

I know this is—

She said of course.

Didn't look up from her phone.

The way you'd say sure, one second

if someone asked for a pen.

I said thank you.

Said it again.

Third time.

She said yeah, no problem,

and went back to whatever she was reading.

I drove to the parking garage

and sat there with the engine off.

Keys in my hand.

The fluorescents doing their low persistent hum,

the kind that sounds like the building

thinking something through.

I had the repayment plan ready.

The backup for the repayment plan.

The grateful face.

The whole architecture

of a no I'd already accepted.

And she just said of course

and looked back at her phone

and I sat there in the front seat

holding the keys

like someone who'd braced for a wall

and found instead an open room.