The Whole Shelf

The pantry here is the size

of a decision I can't undo.

I stood in front of it

with a can of soup in one hand

and did the math.

Three things.

Crackers, store brand, the box describes them

as "original," which means they taste like

the idea of a cracker.

Peanut butter, half gone, the oil

pooled on top where I haven't stirred it.

The soup.

A bare bulb. Lots of empty shelf.

I used to have a drawer just for pasta.

I had a section for oils.

That's a stupid thing to stand here grieving —

a section for oils —

but the bare bulb lit up the space

around three things

and I couldn't move

and the shelf didn't say anything either.