Zero Sum Game

He snored beside me, a soft, untroubled sound.

My eyes fixed on the ceiling, bland, unbroken ground.

The cheap hotel lamp, dusty, yellow, just a gleam.

The air smelled stale, a half-assed air freshener's scheme.

My phone was dead. The ache was dull, behind my head,

the metallic taste of drinks, the words I hadn't said.

Or couldn't say. Or wouldn't. What was there to prove?

Just tangled sheets, a body I don't really move

against. His arm, a dead weight. My own, cold and stark.

No warmth, no flicker, just this silence in the dark.

It adds up to nothing. Less than nothing. Just a debt

I paid with time and skin. And still, I half regret

not staying home. This close, this empty, side-by-side.