IX - Oh to be idle loving idleness!

by Fernando Pessoa · s.d. (uncertain date)
Published 01/07/1880

Oh to be idle loving idleness!

But I am idle all in hate of me;

Ever in action's dream, in the false stress

Of purposed action never act to be.

Like a fierce beast self-penned in a bait-lair,

My will to act binds with excess my action,

Not-acting coils the thought with raged despair,

And acting rage doth paint despair distraction.

Like someone sinking in a treacherous sand,

Each gesture to deliver sinks the more;

The struggle avails not, and to raise no hand,

Though hut more slowly useless, we've no power.

      Hence live I the dead life each day doth bring,

      Repurposed for next day's repurposing.

#despair #existential angst #fernando pessoa #inaction #self hatred

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