Again Alone

The confirmation came today—

dates highlighted, the room booked, the way

back to the first time,

twenty-something and terrified

in a room that was too big,

too quiet, too much

the size of my own fear.

I didn't know who I was then,

alone with my own thoughts,

and now the email sits

in my inbox like a threat.

I'll arrive at the hotel.

I'll be alone again.

I'll lie in the dark

and remember what it felt like

to be someone who had to learn

to be alone.

But I'm going anyway.

I'll find my way to the room,

check in, unpack,

and begin again

to remember who I am

when nobody's watching.

I'm still learning

how to be enough

for myself.