Someone made a joke about high school

Someone made a joke about high school

and I was the only one who knew

what they meant, and I suddenly knew

what that meant about me—

that I was the youngest here,

that there's a gap I'm standing in,

getting bigger with each year,

with each reference I understand

that makes everyone else turn blank.

There's a line now. I'm on this side,

still remembering what it was like

to be young enough to care,

too old now to admit that I do,

too young to be old with these people,

too old to be young anymore.

I got the joke. I laughed alone.

They didn't even notice,

just moved on to their own time,

their own references,

their own empty chair where I used to sit,

where I thought I'd sit forever,

where I didn't know

that the chair had an expiration date,

that youth is a country

you get deported from,

and nobody tells you

you're about to leave.