I Really Don't

She said: you know why I didn't invite you.

Not a question. The kind of sentence

that already has my answer in it.

I let it sit for about a second—

the exact length of a second

in which a person could be processing

something unexpected.

Then I said: no, I really don't.

And she said okay.

Said well.

Said the kinds of things you say

when you've decided not to push.

I've been thinking about that second.

How much I packed into it.

The speed of knowing what was true

and choosing the exit.

The therapist asked me last Tuesday

whether I find it hard to be honest

when honesty would cost me something.

I said: I'm not sure I understand the question.